


We Still Carry Them In Our Hearts

by morgay



Series: There’s No Place Like Home [1]
Category: Lost
Genre: Angst, Closure, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Family Loss, Goodbyes, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode AU: s06e19 The End, Spoilers, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 03:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18651976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgay/pseuds/morgay
Summary: After the plane leaves the island for the last time, two final closures must be delivered before Claire and Kate can move on with their lives.





	1. Claire, To Liam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire meets with Liam Pace, Charlie’s brother.

Claire cautiously rapped on the door, knuckles curling and eyes flitting back and forth across the front lawn. She reached down and took Aaron’s hand in hers, smiling softly at the touch and exhaling, attempting to soothe her nerves.

Both of them - Claire and Kate - had decided that it was best to deliver a final closure to their two late best friends. Meaning, they were finding Charlie and Jack’s relatives to deliver some words and hopefully soothe the families and their hearts.

Of course, that doesn’t mean Claire wasn’t nervous. Charlie hadn’t often spoken about Liam, his former rockstar brother, and she’d never pressed. That being said, Claire had absolutely no idea what he was going to be like. (Am I going to regret this? Is Liam going to be some low life junkie? Will anything happen to Aaron?). The thoughts buzzed through her head like a swarm of angry bees, but she pricked her tongue and forced it all to the back of her mind, just for now, at least.

A slight creak on the other side of the house caused Claire to stiffen. She raised her head, breathing through her nose and making sure she looked as professional as possible while on the doorstep. “Hello?” she asked.

The door slowly opened and a clean-cut man stared back at her. His hair was an ashy brown, with soft eyes and a round face. He was wearing a maroon striped long-sleeve shirt with black pants and casual shoes. “Hi,” he greeted. After a pause, he squinted. “Have we... met before?”

Claire paused. “No. We haven’t. But..” She trailed off. It was hard to find the right words. “I’m looking for Liam Pace.”

His eyes flashed. “That’s me.” Liam glanced down at Aaron, but quickly met Claire’s gaze again. “Can I help you?” His voice held caution and suspicion, but she could also sense the curiosity there.

She sighed and looked down, squeezing Aaron’s hand. “Yes,” she murmured, heart wrenching in her chest. “I’m here about — about Charlie. I was one of the, the people that returned from where we were stranded. I..”

“Oh, of — of course.” Liam stumbled back, looking hopeful. “Is he alive? Is there any way we can rescue him? No official stories have come out, so, so I just figured —”

Out of motherly instinct, she touched his arm gently. “I’ll explain everything. May I come in?”

“Oh —” He chuckled and dipped his head, allowing her to step inside. It was a nice, homey place, with hardwood floors and an open kitchen with a dining room nearby. “Feel free to sit.”

A woman suddenly poked her head out from behind another door. “Guests?” she asked.

“Err..” Liam lopsidedly smiled. “Kind of.”

She narrowed her eyes slightly and strolled forward, tilting her head to the side. “What’s really going on?”

Liam looked down. “It’s about Charlie, Karen,” he whispered.

The woman - Karen - seemed taken aback before her gaze flickered to Claire, warm and bright. “Welcome to the Pace household!” she exclaimed, grinning at Aaron. “Hi! Who is this?”

“Aaron Littleton,” Claire smiled, heart resting easy in her chest at the knowledge that her son was in a safe place. Still, to this day, she worried whether or not her boy would be okay where she left him. That long time of being away really took a toll, but she felt like a better mother each day. Truly. “My son.”

A small girl waddled out of one of the rooms, a smile widening on her face when she saw Aaron. “Play! Play!”

“Oh, this is Megan,” Karen smiled, slinging an arm around Liam. “Our daughter. Do you want me to take the kids outside? She’s only three, but..”

Claire clearly hesitated, looping her fingers through her other hand. “Of course,” she finally said, “I don’t mind at all.” Karen didn’t seem to miss that holdback, but nodded sweetly and ushered both children to the backyard. _It’s fine_ , Claire told herself, _this is Charlie’s brother. I can trust him._

She didn’t wait to sit down, making herself comfortable in the chair and watching Liam carefully as he sat down. He didn’t _look_ grief-stricken, or anything of the sort, so Claire wondered if he had any idea his brother was dead. She wasn’t completely familiar with the news coverage when the Oceanic Six had made their way back home, but knew Charlie hadn’t been mentioned. That being said, Liam could easily be harboring feelings of false hope. That just made her even sadder, to the point where she felt numb inside.

“So - Charlie.” Liam laughed awkwardly and leaned forward, pursing his lips. “Look, I don’t know how you knew each other, and I’d love to hear everything, but please, just tell me how to find him, how can I find my baby brother again—”

“You can’t.” Claire’s voice wasn’t necessarily cold, just honest and matter-of-fact. “I’m sorry, Liam. He died a long time ago.”

Liam’s face paled and his hands began to tremble. “ _Dead_? No, no... my brother was a fighter, he’s not dead, he can’t.. he..” A soft sob choked out of his lips and tears welled in his eyes. “Please, tell me you’re lying, he can’t be dead, not my baby brother..”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, voice hoarse and scratchy against the back of her throat. “I wasn’t sure if you knew or not, but...” She trailed off.

“No, I didn’t,” he whispered, eyes screwing shut. “I had no idea. I thought he was alive, stuck on that god-forsaken island the Oceanic Six had come from. I didn’t — I didn’t even know more of you had returned, I’d just heard about the same group mysteriously disappearing again, and, and I figured that, maybe, just _maybe_ , my brother was still alive. But... I.. I guess I was wrong..”

“Not many know we’re back yet. There’s been little news coverage, and I haven’t had enough time to make an official statement with the others..” She smiled softly at the memory of Sawyer and Kate, of how long they’d been friends. She briefly wondered if they were going to find some way to reconnect where they could actually live their lives. Claire knew Sawyer was still heartbroken over Juliet, and Kate over Jack, but maybe that was the best way to love each other.

A flicker of disappointment ran through Claire and she twitched her fingers, frowning. She missed Charlie so much, but the ache was a dull throb in the back of her head, and she could project that love onto the person she loved most in the world, Aaron. Damn Thomas. She really hoped he wouldn’t reach out after their arrival became public, because that would be hell to deal with. 

Realizing she’d spaced out for a few moments, Claire blinked and returned Liam’s questioning and broken stare with a clear and sad one. “I’m going to write a book,” she said suddenly. “It’s going to be about everything that happened on the island, about all of the friendships I made, raising Aaron.. and Charlie. He was such an important influence on me and my son. He basically raised him alongside me.”

Tears dripped from Liam’s eyes. “He always wanted to be a father,” he laughed, “maybe even more than I did.” He twisted his head around, making sure his wife wasn’t listening. “Megan, my daughter, you know, she was an accident. I didn’t, I didn’t think I could raise a child. But Charlie.. he always supported me. No matter what. Even when I was drugged out of my mind, he made sure he cared for me.”

“That’s just who he was.” Claire’s throat burned as she thought back to Charlie. “I met him the first night of the crash. He was so nice and welcoming. Funny and charming. Just a really, really caring person. He looked out for me — the pregnant girl, the girl everyone avoided — when no one else would.”

Liam’s eyes widened. “You were _pregnant_ on the island?”

Claire chuckled. “Yes. Everyone avoided me like the plague. I was a ticking time bomb. Seven months.. no one wanted to deal with it.” She blew out a sigh. “There was a lot of tension during that time. Jack wanted to go to the caves, Sayid wanted to stay on the beach, Hurley wanted to make a list of everyone... of course, one thing led to another and..” She trailed off. Claire hadn’t ever told anyone in the _real_ world about this, but she figured Charlie’s brother deserved to know everything.

“And?” Liam prompted gently, leaning forward, eating up any information he possibly could. 

“There was a man who infiltrated our people. Pretended to be one of us.” Claire’s voice fell into a snarl. “Charlie and I had a fight and I started having contractions. He ran off to find Jack, in case the worst was happening..” She tapped her forehead with her fingers as the memories flashed over her eyes, not seeing Liam’s horrified look. “Instead, he found Ethan. He kidnapped me, then Charlie when he found me again. Ethan killed another one of our people and warned everyone to stay away, to not look for us. They didn’t listen, so he hung Charlie from a tree, or so I was told.”

Liam choked, closing his eyes when the pain clearly became too much. “And he died?” he murmured.

“No,” Claire said quickly, watching Liam’s head snap up in shock. “Jack revived him. He was okay. But me...”

“Ethan took you?” Liam asked slowly, chewing on his bottom lip. “Did they do anything?”

“They stuck needles in me to make sure Aaron wasn’t going to be born with a disease, I think. They drugged me and Ethan convinced me that it was a _good_ thing I was there.” Her voice hardened and her jaw pulsed. “I believed it, but a teenage girl saved me. I returned to camp and didn’t remember anyone. Charlie was traumatized from what had happened, but made the effort to reconnect with me..” She was surprised to find wetness trailing down her cheeks. She hadn’t cried over Charlie in so long. It almost felt foreign.

“He cared for you, a lot, didn’t he?” Liam tried to smile but it was dull and weak. 

“He did.” Claire nodded slowly. “More than anyone else there. I think he really loved me, and... well, I loved him back. And when Aaron was born, it was like we were meant to be.”

“What about the drugs?” Liam winced after the words came flying out of his mouth. “I... assume you knew about that..?”

“The heroin? Yes.” Liam’s eyes widened at how coolly Claire spoke about it. “He didn’t relapse, not once, even when we found a plane full of drugs later on. I was suspicious at times, but I was a new, paranoid mother.”

Liam thought. “And Ethan — what happened to him?”

Claire narrowed her eyes, thinking back to that day in the jungle, when she’d been soaked to the bone in rain, when she’d seen Ethan claw his way out of the foliage and attempt to drag her back to that station, when the gunshot had rung in her ears.. “Charlie killed him. He had to.”

“He... he _killed_ someone?” Liam asked, shocked. His breathing became irregular. “That doesn’t sound like him.”

“The island changed all of us. For some, I can’t say for the better. But Charlie did it to protect me. He did it so I’d know I was finally safe. Ethan’s people — The Others — they were just as ruthless, though...” She smiled. “We eventually became friends. Isn’t that such an odd thing?”

“Friends?” Liam laughed, wiping tears from his eyes. “That’s definitely interesting.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Claire leaned back, eyes flickering to the backyard where she saw Aaron and Megan tumbling over each other, Karen standing nearby and watching them like an eagle. “It’s a long story, and I’d never be able to get into it here, but maybe, if I do end up writing this book, you can read it in full.”

Liam didn’t seem satisfied though, and his voice dropped to a hushed and miserable whimper. “How did he die? My baby brother?”

Claire wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him. She still remembered that day she’d heard the news, rocking Aaron back in forth in her arms and waiting for Charlie to return. He never had. All he’d left was..

“He left this for his family.” Claire reached into her shirt pocket and carefully retrieved a folded paper, sliding it to Liam. “His greatest hits.”

**#5 THE FIRST TIME I HEARD MYSELF ON THE RADIO**

**#4 DAD TEACHING ME TO SWIM AT BUTLINS**

**#3 THE CHRISTMAS LIAM GAVE ME THE RING**

**#2 WOMAN OUTSIDE COVENT GARDEN CALLS ME A HERO**

**#1 THE NIGHT I MET YOU.**

Liam was sobbing hysterically by the time he was finished reading the paper. He held it in his hands and dropped his head to the table, body shaking with each cry. “It’s not fair, it’s not _fair_... I should’ve been the one to die, it should’ve been me, not him! It was my fault.. my fault..”

“Shhh..” Claire wrapped her arms around Liam and pulled herself towards him, letting his head rest on her shoulder. She rubbed his hair absentmindedly, glancing off into the distance. “It wasn’t your fault. He spent the last months of his life happier than he’d ever been before. He met me, he raised a son...” Her eyes brimmed with tears that fell and dripped off her chin. “And he died a hero.”

Liam sniffled, shifting but not pulling away. “How?” His whisper was soft and mangled.

She began to cry, too. “He swam to one of the underwater DHARMA stations — these buildings with different uses that had been occupied by the company that had once lived on the island before dying. We found out a freighter near the island didn’t belong to someone we thought it belonged to. He was locked in a room and water began to flood into it.” Claire sobbed and buried her face in Liam’s shoulder, not able to contain herself. “He was able to write ‘NOT PENNY’S BOAT’ on his palm to tell Desmond, but by then... it was done. He couldn’t escape. He died more of a hero than anyone else on that damn island had. No one can ever convince me differently.”

After a while of both of them sitting there, squeezing each other until they felt they could gather themselves again, both pulled away and stared at each other with red-rimmed eyes.

“Thank you.” Liam began to cry again. “Thank you so much, Claire. Thank you. You have no idea... I always wondered what had happened to my brother, and now I finally know, and to hear that he was happy before he died... I just wish I’d been there with him.” He smiled sadly and slowly stood up. “Would you like to have lunch with us? I’m sure Karen wouldn’t mind, and it seems like the kids are having fun outside.”

Claire wasn’t sure she could bring herself to stay another minute here. She was grateful Liam had listened and allowed her to tell some of Charlie’s story, but she was also exhausted and wanted to go home. It wasn’t that far of a drive. “I’m sorry,” she said slowly and carefully, “I just... I think I need to get home.”

Liam nodded without question and slid Charlie’s Greatest Hits back to her. “Take it.”

“What?” Claire was shocked and gaped at him. “He was your brother. You should keep it, Liam.”

“I can’t.” He shook his head. “It’s not mine to keep, because it wasn’t meant for me. You have to take it.”

Tears once again welled in her eyes. “Thank you,” she said, voice breaking, gingerly picking the piece of paper up and folding it back into her pocket. “I’ll make sure the world knows his story and what a hero he was. I can promise you that much.”

Liam exhaled shakily. “I wouldn’t expect any less,” he smiled.

Claire left that day thinking back to everything she’d endured on that island. She began to cry and relished the love she gave and received from Aaron, but only wished that Charlie could be here to share it with her. She would miss him until the day she died, and hoped that wherever she went, he would be there waiting for her, in the house they had talked about, raising Aaron in a sweet smelling home with lots of animals to play with on a block filled with their friends.

Claire knew that no matter what happened next, no matter how hard she had to push to make sure she was okay and healthy, she would tell Charlie’s story. She would give him the last bit of fame he’d always wanted and she would make sure that when she died, they could both laugh about it up in heaven, and then finally be happy when Aaron eventually joined them.

The day that came was one she was so desperately waiting for, but Claire was living the best life she could with the best son in the world. And even if that meant Charlie wasn’t here for it, she knew he was still watching from above and probably making witty jokes and sarcastic comments. He was with her, right beside her, in her heart.

And the love Claire had for Charlie would never cease to exist. She was happy, she was excited, but most of all, she felt like she was finally at peace with her circumstances. At the end of the day, she had a family to take care of, and lingering thoughts that trailed back to her first and last love.

And Claire loved him very, very much.


	2. Kate, To Sarah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate meets with Sarah Wagner, Jack’s ex-wife.

Kate could live with many things, but settling down wasn’t one of them. She always felt the need to move, to run, to _hide_ — even after the trial, even after her crimes had been absolved and supposedly based on no real evidence, she couldn’t find it in herself to stay in LA. It was too painful.

She wanted to return to Iowa to reconnect with her dying mother. She wanted to have a true, real date with James and leave the past in the past. But those painful memories always flashed behind her eyelids; she couldn’t let Jack’s toothy smile go quite yet.

James understood, thankfully. With the help of Claire, they’d decided to contact their deceased friends’ old family members as a final closure. That would help everyone.

Now, Kate sat in the passenger seat of the car, fingers thrumming along the door handle and eyes flickering over the house. It was a nice, white-bricked home with a green lawn and large flowers adorning the hedges. The clouds sprawling over the sky in thick fingers let a cold chill hover over the ground, frost slicking the green stalks of the garden. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” James asked slowly, face drawn forward. He hesitated, then slung his elbow over the armrest, fingers fitting into Kate’s palm.

She smiled softly, heart resting in her chest. “No,” she admitted, flicking her chin to the side. He tilted his head. “But it’s the right thing to do.”

“Didn’t know Jack had an ex _wife_ ,” James snorted, nose scrunching. “I know it’s what we should do, but is this lady even gonna want to hear anything from you, Freckles?”

Kate ignored the nickname and decided to sigh instead. “Dunno,” she finally said, shrugging. “I guess we’ll see. Are you sure you don’t want to come in? You and Jack... I know you were close.”

James paused, lip twitching. He always did that when he was thinking hard on something. “It should be you,” he finally replied after a moment of shared silence. “Jack was my best friend, but you knew him better than I ever did. Both of y’all were in LA together.” He turned away, body shuddering. “And me...”

 _Juliet_. Kate hadn’t liked the woman at first, especially after being captives of The Others, but she’d saved Claire, all those years ago... she’d stayed with James when Kate hadn’t been there — she’d loved him when Kate couldn’t. Kate appreciated Juliet, and sometimes wished things could be different. She’d always miss Jack, and there would always be that dull ache in her heart, but she loved James too.

She could accept that she wouldn’t ever live up to Juliet, either.

“Hey. You can always visit her family, too.” Kate frowned at his dejected expression and puffed out a breath of air. “I’d go with you.”

“I know, Puddin’,” James chuckled, but there was a deep-rooted pain there. “I just need some time. I ain’t quite ready for that yet.”

She nodded, pursing her lips. “I understand. This is hard enough, but... you knew Juliet for a long time.” James had told her about their three full years spent back in time, living with the DHARMA employees. Kate had only known Jack for two short years and she already hurt — how much pain did James feel? “I hope you know I’m here for you.”

James turned to look at her and his eyes sparkled with tears. “Thanks,” he murmured, slowly reaching a hand up to smooth his thumb over her cheek. Kate leaned forward and let her lips rest on his, fire spreading through her veins from the touch. It was passion. 

“Mm.” He released their touch and caressed her wrist. “I’ll be out here when you’re done. Don’t worry about taking too long.”

“Okay.” Kate breathed in, nerves spiking, and let herself out of the car. A soft drizzle of rain began to wash down on the earth, beads of water clinging to her long hair. Kate shuffled over the yard and ducked under the portico, hugging the gray jacket tighter around her body. She closed her eyes, re-opened them, and knocked.

No one answered, for a moment. She looked back to the car but was unable to see James through the tinted windows. Kate jumped when the door clicked and smoothed her arms down her sides, trying to appear as presentable and inconspicuous as possible. 

Suddenly, a man stared back at her. Brown hair flopped down his forehead and curled at the tip. His face was thick and sharp, jaw twitching and brown eyes darkening.

“Hi,” Kate blurted, twisting her face in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I may have the wrong address - does Sarah Wagner live here?”

He didn’t reply for a moment, only narrowing his eyes. “Yeah,” he finally said, “that’s not her name anymore, though.”

“Oh.” She was confused for a moment, because Jack had never mentioned anything to her about Sarah being re-married. Awkward silence. “Can I speak to her, please?”

“Why?” His voice was low and dangerous, as if he thought she was going to strike him. “She’s very sick. If you’re looking to sell something, I’m not interested.”

 _This isn’t good. She’s sick? With what?_ She held her tongue and tried to think of something passive to say. “Look, I..” He stared down at her, bristling with suspicion. “I’m an old friend of her...” Of her _what_? Friend? Ex? Enemy?

“An old friend?” He hesitated. “What’s your name? I’ll ask if she wants to see you.”

“No, no—” She drew a hand over her face. “I’m sorry. I really need to see her, and, and I don’t actually _know_ her, but I need to talk to her about Jack and—”

“ _Jack_?” The anger was back, hot and brimming. “Oh, Sarah told me everything about him. What are you here for? To scold her? Are you one of Jack’s _sluts_ , here to do his dirty work?” He sneered. “You’re. Not. Welcome.”

Kate was repulsed. A deep, pulsing fury writhed in her chest, teeth snapping and spit flying. “First of all,” she said, voice cold and calculated, “Jack is _dead_. Second of all, I don’t think it’s your place to make decisions for your wife. I want to talk to her. I have a lot to talk about, and not all of it is about him.”

The man curled his fingers, furrowing his brows. He seemed to struggle with a response before finally landing on— “Why would she care about your story? She hates Jack.” A pause. “Hated.”

 _Why?_ she wanted to scream, but didn’t let the words come out. That wasn’t the way to deal with this man. Her opinions wouldn’t change Sarah’s husband’s. “Leave that to her,” she sighed, exasperated with having to deal with this argument. “Please. Just let me talk to her.”

He scrutinized her for a moment, seemingly considering his options. He eventually blew out a sigh and stepped aside, waving his hand inside. “Come in,” he mumbled, slamming the door behind her. Kate jolted, wringing her hands together nervously. He looked at her and scoffed. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” He turned his back and walked down the hallway, disappearing into a side room.

Kate took what little amount of time she had left here to observe the room. It was nice enough, large and homey and almost a little fancy. Still, though, there was something... off. Something that pulled and tugged in Kate’s stomach and told her to run. Well... she was tired of running. This is what she had to do, and she knew it.

That didn’t dispel the eerie vibe practically radiating from the walls. Little to no lights were on, only a sliver of light brightening the hallways, another flickering from the screen of the TV. There was a football game playing, a bag of chips set aside on the glass table. Kate frowned but didn’t move to investigate, not really wanting to test this man’s temper.

About two more minutes passed by before a door down the hallway opened, and the man walked out. “Ryan,” a weak voice called from the room, and the man stiffened. “Please.... I’m sorry...”

“Just shut up,” he muttered, slamming the door shut and stomping up to Kate. She shrunk back slightly and looked up at Ryan, deciding that she couldn’t back down. Still, she almost wished James would’ve come inside with her. “You’re clear to go.” He scrunched his nose at her and whirled on his heel, returning to the couch and turning the football game up. _Ugh..._

Now, with Ryan gone, Kate quietly padded down the hallway and stared at the bedroom door, filtering her breath through her lips. It would be fine, right? Everything was going to be okay. Kate rapped softly on the wood, cringing at the harsh and deep coughs from inside. “Ry-Ryan?” a small and weak female voice called.

“No, it’s...” Kate struggled to find the right words. How could she introduce herself to Sarah? “Your husband let me in. I-I wanted to speak to you, Sarah.”

There was a long thread of silence. Kate rolled on her heels, desperately hoping that the answer wouldn’t be _No._ Because... well, Kate truly did want to tie off these last loose ends and have something to look forward to for once in her life. “Come in,” Sarah finally whispered, the voice hardly touching Kate’s ear. She heard it, though. And thank God.

Kate slowly opened the creaking door, shifting inside of the nearly pitch black bedroom. She squinted, trying to adjust to the blankets of darkness, wondering: _How the hell does she live like this?_ She didn’t say anything for a moment, thinking of what to start with. 

She heard a shift in the bed sheets and the lamp on the side table clicked on, flooding yellow light into the room. Kate’s tensed shoulders smoothed and she observed the small, quaint, white-painted bedroom. “It’s... it’s nice in here,” she said, looking over at Sarah.

She almost wished she hadn’t done that.

Sarah’s face was pale and deeply sunken in, dark rings apparent under her dim hazel eyes. She looked bone-thin, arms so skinny and jutted that Kate had a hard time believing this woman was even alive. Her brown hair was thick and matted, clearly hardly brushed. Sarah noticed the staring and turned her head away, self-consciously crossing her arms over her chest. “I-” Her voice fell flat. “What do you want? Who- who are you?”

There was fear in that voice, and it made Kate’s heart break. Still, though, there was a thread of determination — that had to mean something, right? That had to be good. “I’m Kate Austen,” she said, taking a seat in the leather chair on the wall, sitting to the left of Sarah’s bed. She eyed Kate warily, chewing on her lip. “You don’t know me, but...” Hesitation. “I’m an old friend of Jack Shephard’s.”

Sarah immediately stiffened, eyes going wide. She sat rigid for a moment, quiet, then dropped her arm on the bedside table and scooped a pill bottle up in her hands. She screwed the lid off and popped two small white pills in her mouth, swallowing them dry. Sarah set the bottle back on the table and blew out through her nose. “Jack,” Sarah finally whispered, closing her eyes. “How... how is he doing?”

Kate could cry. She bent her head and ran her fingers through her hair, not missing the rings of bruise marks along Sarah’s arm. “I... I’m so sorry, Sarah.” She shook her head and met the other woman’s gaze. “He... he’s not here, anymore.”

Sarah spluttered out a cough and dropped her face into her hands, shaking. “No,” she mumbled through her fingers, “he’s not dead, he’s not dead, he’s not dead-”

“I- he is, Mrs. Wagner- um- I’m sorry, I’m not sure what your husband’s name is..” Kate trailed off and kicked herself for being so stupid and embarrassed. “He... he’s gone.” She closed her eyes and felt the pain constrict her heart, threatening to tip with tears. _Just.... stay strong._

“The last time I saw him...” Sarah’s voice broke and she furiously rubbed at her eyes, clearly trying not to cry. “It was after the Oceanic Six returned. He was so.. he looked terrible.”

“I know.” Kate’s voice wavered. “I remember.” The memories beat behind her eyelids, fleeting and fast but so, so sweet. 

Sarah looked at her, silent for a moment. “Oh, my...” She sucked in a deep breath and leaned up slightly. “You’re- yes. Yes, I remember you now. It took a moment, but..” She smiled softly and Kate tensed. Would she bring up the trial? “The Oceanic Six. You were stranded in the ocean with him, right? And the others?”

 _The others...._ Kate nearly cried out at the thought of Sun and Jin and Sayid and Jack. They were all gone. She, James, Hurley, Aaron, Claire, Ben, and Walt were the only ones left. The last of the group. “Yeah,” she mumbled, scratching her cheek. “We were together for a long time. He talked about you, sometimes.”

“Not good things?” Sarah spluttered out a laugh but immediately coughed afterwards, doubling over and dropping her mouth into the palm of her hand. Kate watched, worried. Sarah eventually broke off her coughing spree and groaned. Kate saw sticky, wet blood when her hand was retracted.

“Oh, god.” Kate jumped to her feet and sped forward, kneeling by the side of the bed. Sarah sighed as she inspected her palm, frowning. “Sarah- what- are you okay?”

“I..” She bit her lip and looked to the side. “I’m afraid I don’t have much longer to go anymore.”

Kate was quiet.

The silence prompted Sarah to continue. “I- I was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. We don’t have enough for chemo, so... here I am.” She chuckled weakly. 

“Sarah.” Kate stared at her. She had no idea what to say. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“Yeah.” The blonde-haired woman shrugged lightly and wiped away the blood with a wet cloth. Kate stood and moved back into the chair, watching closely. “I’m really only going to miss Jake... my son.” She smiled. “Don’t you have a son, Kate?”

Oh. Kate struggled to find words, struggling to piece her sentences together. “I- um- I- yeah, he... it’s a long story, but—” She eyed Sarah warily, who curiously stared back. “Look, when the Oceanic Six returned- us- we lied about a lot. We weren’t stranded on the ocean, we crashed on an island.” Sarah’s eyes widened. “I was never pregnant. Aaron- he wasn’t mine.”

“Wh- what? Then....” Sarah shook her head. “I’d always assumed he was Jack’s son.. though I suppose the blonde hair should’ve been a giveaway.”

“I helped deliver Aaron,” Kate said softly, smiling at the memories. “On the island. It was a beautiful thing, really.”

“That’s... that’s amazing.” Sarah laughed quietly. “I don’t understand why you would lie, though? About being his mother?”

“There were—” She cut herself off and brushed brown hair from her face. “There’s so much to explain, but Claire- Aaron’s real mother- disappeared in the jungle one day. We left close after that, we could never find her... to protect the people back home—” Kate scowled. _Home? The island is not my home!_ “To protect the people back _there_ , we lied. We lied so they could never be found, just like they asked.”

Sarah shook her head softly. “I suppose I’ll never understand some people. Who in God’s name would want to live on an island instead of return back to their home?”

Kate frowned slightly. She understood, partly, where they came from. Before the trial — right after crashing on the island — Kate had truly imagined that place as her new home. A place she could do her life over without persecution from the law, without persecution from her mother and father. But... Jack had wanted to leave _so_ badly, and she would have followed him to the ends of the earth and back.

Still. Did that mean she found the real world her home, or the island as her home?

“I think some people were happier there,” she offered slowly, thinking, “than they ever were in their real lives. We were like a family. A group that depended on each other — that formed relationships with each other, whether they were good or bad — and I think a lot of people felt included. Like... maybe they could restart their lives, or something.”

Sarah pursed her lips and shifted in the bed. “What about Jack?” Her voice was hardly audible, breathy and raspy in her throat. “He... did he like it there? On that island?”

Kate let out a mix between a laugh and a sob. “He did,” she said, truly smiling with her teeth. “Of course, he wanted to go back home, but he was our leader. Our doctor. People admired him, looked up to him, and he always led us to safety. And I loved him for that.”

Sarah closed her eyes and exhaled thickly, re-opening them. Glossy tears reflected back, threatening to fall. “I think you were the best thing for Jack,” she grinned, beginning to sob. “I don’t know what happened after I saw him last, or why he was gone for so long after, but as long as he was happy when he passed... well.”

“We went back.” Kate ran her fingers through her hair, trying to control her labored breathing. “All of us that had left.”

“ _Back_?” Sarah echoed incredulously. “What... why? Was it on purpose?”

“Yes. We had to save our friends that we’d left behind — God, there were so many of them — and we- we discovered a lot. It was like we were in a completely different time.” Well, it _had_ been a different year, but Kate figured time travel on a supernatural island would be too complex to explain. Sometimes even _she_ didn’t understand. “A lot happened then. Some friends died, but Jack fought to save all of us that he could.” Tears trickled down her cheeks and Kate sniffled, wiping them away. “I loved him. I still do.”

Sarah began to cry. “He was a good man. Really. He had his times, but...” Both women laughed pathetically. “I’m glad he was able to finally move on. Jack deserved that, he really did.”

 _Moving on..._ Kate frowned slightly, glancing at the rings of bruises lacing Sarah’s arm. “And you? How have you moved on?”

She hesitated, lips moving. No words came out for a moment. “Fine,” Sarah decided on. “I have a son now, and he’s my entire world. Ryan is... you know.” She shrugged loosely.

“Sarah.” Kate moved to the side of the bed and crouched down. “You don’t have to live with him. You...” Both looked at the deep purple bruises and Sarah spluttered out a deep, painful cry. “You don’t have to deal with his abuse. Come with us. James can come in- he was on the island, too- and stop your husband, you can take Jake and we can drive you somewhere safe, somewhere far away-”

“Stop.” Sarah flinched back and bent her head down, sobbing freely. “I can’t leave. I can’t. It’s too much and I’ve already tried before. He found me.” Kate frowned and sat on the side of the bed. Sarah wrapped her arms around her and buried her face in Kate’s shoulder, crying hysterically. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.”

“Okay. Okay, that’s okay.” Kate softly stroked Sarah’s hair. “You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to. I just wanted to give you that option.”

Sarah shook as she broke away from Kate. “Thank you,” she whispered, “but I just... I’m going to die soon, anyway. I know it. Jake needs his dad when I’m gone. I don’t think I can provide for him, and it’s just.. too much...” Her hazel eyes filled with tears.

“Hey. Hey. That’s fine, Sarah. Okay?” Kate lightly touched her shoulder. “Like I said, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But I’m always here if you need something, okay?”

A knock on the door jolted both women from their conversation. Kate turned around and spotted Ryan, who was standing in the doorway, scowling. “I think it’s time for you to leave,” he grumbled. There was a baby crying somewhere in the other room. “Jake needs to be fed.”

“I’m sorry, Kate.” Sarah wrapped her hands around Kate’s and pulled her attention back, at least momentarily. “Thank you for this. For telling me so much. I know we didn’t have a lot of time, but I appreciate you, and I-”

“ _Out_.” Ryan narrowed his eyes.

“I’m _leaving_ ,” Kate snapped back. She eyed Sarah and stood up, brushing her shirt down. “Good luck, Sarah.”

“Thank you,” she murmured back.

Kate glared at Ryan as she shoved past him, connecting their shoulders to pull him back as she did so. “Don’t hurt her ever again,” she snarled in a whisper, voice dripping with venom. They stared at each other for a moment before Kate broke off, walking down the dark hallway.

It took everything in her body not to turn back around and take Sarah with her, but she knew that wasn’t a possibility. Sighing, she stepped out of the house and closed the door behind her, walking through the sheets of gray rain that pelted down on the earth. Kate found she didn’t quite care about getting wet anymore.

“Hey,” James said when she opened the passenger door and slid into the seat, eyeing her curiously. “You good? How’d it go?”

“It went...” Kate hesitated. “It went fine. I’m glad I did it.”

James smiled. “Hey- that’s great, right?” He leaned back and patted on the padded steering wheel. “Looks like it’s our time to get the hell out of this place.”

Kate couldn’t help it and laughed. “I guess so.” She grinned and fit her hand into his, feeling the adoration for James, for herself, and for Sarah. She swiped her head over her shoulder to look at the house, shoulders sagging slightly.

Kate couldn’t help someone that didn’t want to help themselves, and unfortunately, Sarah was too afraid to leave. _Some people have to be left to their own devices, I suppose.._ Her heart constricted deep within her chest, bringing that hurt.

 _Goodbye, Jack. Thank you for being my leader, my friend, and my lover... thank you for everything you did. I hope that wherever you are, you’re happy and finally with the family you always loved._ Tears welled in Kate’s eyes and she brought James’s fingers to her lips, kissing them softly. _I will always love you, Jack. Now... it’s _my_ time to move on._


End file.
